The Stories We Tell
Fairytales are timeless. As a little girl, I loved listening to the Cinderella movie record, (yes, the record), twirling and dancing throughout the house wishing my fairy godmother would whisk me away from the abuse and hardship I lived in. To this day if I hear “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo” I am transported back to that apartment in Germany, dancing around and around. As I grew up, I still loved fairytales, yet I resolutely decided those were not for someone like me. Fairytale stories and movies are, well, fairytales. Fictional. Silly illusions and pipe dreams, created to draw little ones into a false sense of reality. Who knew, telling myself a story of “that can’t happen to me” would seal the deal on never achieving what it was my heart truly desired? Never would I have imagined that because of the story I kept telling myself, finance and business goals would become difficult to realize. As an adult in a career I was quite successful. On the outside, success looked like it was mine. But when self reflection was in play, there was a sense of “not quite”. It wasn’t a manner of discontent, it was more of, I had set a goal and yet fell just short each time. In one place of work I was successful, but not at the top of my field. In another, I was a sought after educator, but not the best of the best. “No one can be the best in their field, can they?” I reasoned. After all, biblically speaking, aren’t we to be content in all things, satisfied with less in life? I mean, really, who did I think I was anyway, wanting to achieve outstanding success. Mediocrity started to find it’s roots in my soul. That is, until I set foot on my most recent path. The business I found myself in, quite literally stumbling into it, there was no ceiling. There was room for anyone who wanted that kind of success. It was completely and totally up to me, my efforts and my choice. Period. No one else called the shots. I set my sights on the top! I went after it, hard, only to met with mediocre results. Once again I found middle of the road success. “Most people in this company would give anything to be where you are,” said a well meaning friend. But, I’m not most people… Why couldn’t I grab hold of this elusive dream? The story I had told myself all my life… greatness and success don’t happen to people like me. Desperately asking my mind the question, why am I falling short month after month, the answer came. You see, when you ask yourself a question, your mind searches for the answer. My mind spoke back to me saying “sweet girl, this is the story we have told since we were that little girl”. Growing up in abuse, poverty and separation from parents created a story of unworthiness. It’s not a good story, but it is a powerful one. Also, its one that is simply not true. It is built on lies and false perspectives. It’s one thing to recognize the false story; it’s another to be able to break free from it. In order to grab what is rightfully yours, you must tell a different story and in order to do that, you must heal from emotional wounds that are creating the lie. If you realize your life is not what you would have ordered, may I gently suggest, you deserve better? You deserve the life you have always dreamed of, that one from when you were twirling as a young child. Ask yourself some questions; 1. How do you talk to yourself each day? Meaning, that mind chatter, what is it like? What does it say, and what feeling does it create within you? When you self talk, do you feel uplifted? 2. Why are you talking that way to yourself? 3. If a miracle occurred tomorrow, that would start a path for you toward the life you desire, what would it be? Once you write these out, sit with the third answer. Look at it, why is this the miracle? Write out an affirmation statement of actually having this thing, such as “I am ______, or I have ______, or I create____.” You see, affirmations are a form of strengthening the brain. Affirmations come from the Latin root word ‘affirmare,’ meaning to make steady or strengthen. When we speak out affirming words to ourselves or others, we are creating a steadiness in others and strengthening our minds in order to believe and accomplish that which we are seeking. As you speak out affirmations, use your mind to imagine, what it would look like in your life, if what you're creating those desires. Imagine the feeling that comes with it. Perhaps even the sound. If your accomplishment ends in fanfare like walking across a stage, perhaps you can pair your dream with a walk up song. Rewriting your story takes some careful thought and time to put it into practice. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes a memory will come up that you connect that is the reason you have this belief. That’s the sweet spot my friend. That’s the point you must push past and break through to the other side. *** if you just started signing The Doors tune, you are my people*** It’s true though, breaking through that barrier that has held you back all these years takes a bit of pushing and effort on your part. But I can assure you, when you do, oh that victory is so sweet. For those who just read this and thought, yea, lovely, but you have no idea my life. There’s no way I could possibly do … Can I tell you, I hear you, and not only do I hear, I see you my friend. After investing three years into the study of why dreams aren’t achieved and what is holding people back from breaking free from the past, I wrote a course in order to help those folks do just that. It would be an honor and a joy to walk with you in that journey back to your fairytale life. Some stories take a little more than simply running through a few journal prompts. Some require digging, uprooting and replanting. If that is you, I'd love to coach you through the process. Reach out here. Freedom, fairytales and dreams are yours, my friend, you just need to ask for it.