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The Part Where We Altered Eating Habits

The Part Where We Altered Eating Habits

When desperately praying for God to heal your child, it's critical for you to be open to what the Holy Spirit will put in your path. You have to shut out all the noise and nonsense surrounding you. The Holy Spirit has a long history of making conventionally wise humans extremely uncomfortable and so if you want His leading, you might find yourself making others uncomfortable with your decisions~ especially where your children are concerned. I had well meaning friends remind me that it's ok every once in awhile to let my son have sugar or 'treats'. I wish I had had a backbone strong enough to stand up to them and say "NO!" After all, I was the one who had prayed wasn't I? And it was me who had to go to bed at night knowing I left it all on the table in regards to my son's health. If I could turn back the clock, I would go to those moments where I felt stupid and small and naive for believing that nutrition mattered, and I would say with the courage I have now, "this is THE way. It's the ONLY way for us." If you find yourself in a situation now that you or well meaning friends are questioning your choices, if you have prayed about it, trust that you heard right. Trust. When we went home from the doctor visit where he said "fruits and veggies can't hurt", I was determined to find an answer. I knew that I knew that I knew food was a cure. Somewhere I had heard a statement a guy thousands of years before said~ "Let food by thy medicine and medicine be thy food". Food as medicine. What an idea! The very thing he Lord gave us to eat can also heal. Funny enough, years before Socrates, a prophet name Ezekiel said this, "The fruit will be for food and the leaves for healing." That is Ezekiel 47:12. If scripture isn't your total authority I understand how this would seem a bit far fetched. So with this in mind, I had to believe God had a better way. A way that was much better than nuking my son's tiny frame. Food. But specifically what? Thank God that my old friend Google was a thing by then because I googled my heart out and within 48 hours I found article after article that sited so many things with this in mind~ food as medicine and leaves for healing. Leaves being herbs and essential oils. It is crazy how many resources I was able to find. Some were just people trying to make a living selling their products, so I didn't read those as much, not because I thought they were lying but because I wanted someone completely unbiased. In 2009 that was not hard to find. Barely anyone sold essential oils or herbal tinctures. Articles by groups such as the Skin Cancer Foundation were helpful, this one, though so much more recent than what I was able to find, has a plethora of information on how to prevent skin cancer in the first place. If you take that and run with it, adding even more than what they say, you not only prevent but now you get into the territory of treating it. I had come across other materials that suggested creating an alkaline environment could make it harder for disease to survive. That was nine years ago now the Google won't back that up because "there is not enough scientific research to prove it". Other sources note that there simply isn't a correlation between and alkaline diet and acidic. Except here is the point I have come to- if you eat more 'alkaline' foods, those are also antioxidant foods, foods that are by nature healing. So by default, the body would be healthier by eating these foods. I find when we start getting into the territory of recommending something that may also have a something attached to it, i.e. alkaline water, and so we then recommend Essentia Water, it gets a little sticky. When a company stands to benefit financially from selling a product to a person who has a condition, everyone starts calling foul. And yet... we pay doctors/pharmaceuticals thousands to "practice" on us. Odd... Never the less, we bought Essentia water and had him drink it daily. It didn't hurt that's for sure. We found a documentary that was fascinating and I thought the practices were radical though it opened my eyes to the benefits of juicing, so we purchased a juicer and paid our son $1 per juice he was willing to drink. Seeing as that would become costly and needing to put actual nutrients into his cells, we found the green smoothie girl. I must have stumbled on her site and purchased her book at Barnes and Noble or something. I soon realized we would need a Vitamix blender... Let's pause there shall we? At that time, we were broke. I mean, we ate well, clothed just fine and had a great big beautiful home but we had zero in the bank left over, much less anything to speak of in terms of $500 for a blender! This is where my money mindset was severely tested. And my prayer life got a whole lot more interesting. It's been said that people will pay for what they want. Turns out, we found he money real quick to get our much wanted blender. This is where I don't get on my soapbox about knowing your worth, about God wanting only the absolute best for His children. Beyond the weird juicing and smoothies and alkaline foods, we simply removed sugar and processed anything. He cried in the market one day because we had changed his diet so much. Still be a cruddy mom, I yelled at him and said, "you could die!" Not my finer moment. People want a cure for cancer but are unwilling to change what they eat. We emotionalize with food, case in point~ my son crying because we no longer ate boxed cookies and hot dogs. It is my belief that if we chose to eat the way our God set up, eat the foods He has for us, then cancer rates would be severely reduced. Personally, I would go so far as to say we could cure cancer forever if we would change what we ate, how we cleaned and most importantly, how we dealt with emotions. As you'll see, we most certainly did just that.

The Part Where We Were Blessed...

The Part Where We Were Blessed...

We were a part of a beautiful home school community. The kind that if someone gets a hang nail they rallied around and bought band aids, tourniquet, or any other supplies necessary. And they didn’t have to be asked.
They were the types of women who listened to God and didn’t hesitate to do something. I had mentioned to one of there women that my desire was to do this cancer thing as natural as possible. So of course one night, she showed up at my door with a basket of essential oils. Like, hundreds of dollars worth. Tons and tons. So much, it was overwhelming. What happens when you give a gift of this magnitude to someone like I was, someone who had a host of self worth issues, is that while the gift was beyond generous, it created a feeling of shame and guilt. And later, frustration because I felt so stupid for not just knowing how to use these healing tools.
Everyone in my circle seemed to somehow just know, but I didn’t. I still believed Neosporin was a must over cuts and antibiotics filled our fridge each Winter.

My son’s life was on the line and my friends had just gifted me tools that God set up millennia ago. I had a choice. Can you feel how hard this was? How difficult it was to want to believe my friends, but growing up listening to doctors has if they were God Himself. And besides, if this was really true, why didn’t everyone do it? As I write this, I’m sitting in a home school class, inhaling windex being sprayed by children and Clorox wipes flying everywhere in the name of clean and community service. It's 2019, nine years after I had started this journey and people are STILL using toxic chemicals to clean their environments- even though children have such focus issues, chronic allergies and asthma. So why didn’t everyone use the essential oils as I was learning? Because in 1917 Clorox’s exhibit at the California State Fair introduces the household bleach product to thousands of farmers and other consumers. And in 1928, at St. Mary's Hospital, London, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin. This discovery led to the introduction of antibiotics that greatly reduced the number of deaths from infection. Before this antibiotic there was no effective "treatment" for many illnesses. Expect when you study this further, you will find people did use treatments and most important, preventions.
Mark Twain, Louisa May Alcott and Henry Longfellow, and weirdly, the inventor of CornFlakes, Will Keith Kellogg, were all huge fans of homeopathy. In 1903, one American Medical Association physician admitted they were not denying or against homeopathy because of its principles. They were against it because when a physician who used it moved into town, it took all of the business from the local allopathic physician. Oh I think we have our answer... Money... By law I am unable to share the exact things we chose to use and continue to use. But thankfully in the year, 2019, there are a host of resources at your fingertips that you can actually read. There is a plethora of medical research, contrary to popular belief, on the effectiveness of certain oils. Take this article for example, I love it because it's sharing such incredible information that flies in the face of "not enough human research". If you really wanting to dive in this is a wealth of knowledge and understanding. Because I earn money from actually selling essential oils I am bound by law to not site anything from my experience that would suggest any healings resulted from using these tools. However, if I was a licensed aromatherapist, then I am at liberty to share the inner workings of essential oils because it's simply educational purposes only. Hence, why I send you to thee reference sources. As I have gone down deeper into the proverbial rabbit hole of natural health, I have quickly noticed people shunning alternative medicine because of the way it's sold. Be it MLMs, or Naturapath doctors, (who they doubt the legitimacy of the actually doctor), or even someone growing herbs in the yard and selling Elderberry Syrup. Money. Not to mention you find folks who "can't afford it". I know. I hear you dear sister. I was once in that frame of mind as well. But you can afford it. You just don't believe it actually will work for you. I know, dear sister. I was once there as well. My dear friends shared an enormous amount of essential oils with us at the onset of the diagnosis. I felt guilt and shame over their gift. I felt stupid for not knowing if these were legitimate tools or not. I felt angry that the doctors sort of patted my head and sent me on my way. There is no lonelier feeling than having tools, not knowing how to use them, if anyone could truly be trusted to actually tell me how to use them, thinking if I made the wrong choice, my son could die, and then being forced to see doctors week after week that only knew how to nuke a child's body to rid it of cancer. Reading that last paragraph makes me want to take out a billboard and say "ATTENTION mother's everywhere!! I know you're scared. I know they said this, but YOU HAVE A CHOICE." Oh that back then someone would have taken my face in their hands and said, "yes, you heard God right. This IS the path He has chosen for you. Don't doubt, you know your son better than anyone." Maybe it's not cancer. Maybe it's a chronic condition, maybe it's ADD, maybe it's mental. Whatever it is, I'm taking your beautiful face in my hands and I'm saying to you~ You are not wrong. Go with your instinct because that my dear friend, is our God speaking to you. Oh and if you're those friends who are ridiculously generous, keep doing it. Only, hold their hand. Call them daily, assure them they are on the right path.

Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder is characterized by persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations where the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The individual fears that he or she will act in a way that will be embarrassing and humiliating. As challenging as that sounds, imagine coping through a typical work day, being asked to present in front of strangers, all the while, dealing with social anxiety. While many people struggle, there is little taught to people suffering about how to overcome social anxiety. It seems as though many are given medicine, maybe a few techniques, that at best get them through a particularly triggering situations. What needs to happen in our society is we need to understand the reasons behind social anxiety. There are in fact, two reasons~ 1-Social anxiety from a particularly traumatic and/or embarrassing event. This creates a fear of "what if it happens again". 2-A chemical in the body that creates an overactive amygdala, heightening the fear response. Neither of these two factors are life sentences. In fact with proper training, they can be overcome and in many cases eradicated from the person's life. Social anxiety that is triggered from a traumatic or embarrassing event can be overcome by removing the memory of that event. We do this by utilizing essential oils to replace the negative or traumatic memory and then using a different essential oil to replace the negative with a positive future memory. Could be a past memory of a time when the person made a presentation and it went well, or perhaps a future memory that they would like to see happen. Essential oils are powerful in this aspect because it's through our sense of smell that memories are stored and removed. Our limbic system, the emotion brain, can be accessed by our sense of smell. Hence when you smell an essential oil, it has the power within seconds to remove and replace memories. Social anxiety that is triggered by a chemical in the body that is causing an overactive amygdala can also be changed by using essential oils, however the technique and essential oil will look quite different. In this case you have a heightened fear response so there is a need to quiet that response in unnecessary situations. A person with social anxiety would want to use an essential oil blend like Stress Away in order to calm and soothe that overactive amygdala. The oils in Stress Away are incredibly powerful in reducing our stress response. Oils like, lavender, cedar wood, lime and vanilla all create a beautiful blend that sedates the mind in order for it to release the right chemicals at the right time. Social anxiety is rough, but it isn't a life sentence. It doesn't have to define who you are or how you move through your day. There is hope to heal and thrive through your life.

Now, Here is a Story All about How...

Now, Here is a Story All about How...

If you just hummed the Fresh Prince of Belair theme song, then you are my people. This is a much better story though. A story about how my life did get flipped and turned upside down, by cancer, by birth defects and by emotional trauma and turmoil. But it's more than that. This is a story about how, yes, all of that came into our lives, but also how we turned the tide. How God drew us in to a deeper belief system that we can heal simply through prayer and plants. Through setting our minds right and changing our current belief system. I suppose in a story this complex and beautiful, you will need a backstory. In 2009, our son Zion had a little mole on his neck, likely it had been there for quite sometime. At his 8 year old check up the doctor remarked that it look ok, but keep an eye on it, particularly when he started puberty as those things can become sinister. That was the last time I gave that mole a thought, until the following summer. In June Zion started complaining that it bothered him when he wore his seat belt. Assuming the 'bothering' was nothing more than him being all Apserger-y I blew it off. I mean, E V E R Y T H I N G bothered that child, so I certainly wasn't about to sound the alarms because a silly seat belt was the object du jour to be annoying. Reluctantly in August of 2010 I had the mole removed because it kept pestering and so did he. Can I just tell you the shock and horror I felt when I received a call 4 days later from the dermatologist's office informing me that my son had malignant melanoma. Talk about worst fears coming true. ***Side note*** This had actually been a huge fear of mine, me or one of the children getting some heinous disease. As Job said, "lo the very thing I feared has come upon me". Trust me, the last thing you want to admit is you likely brought this disease on your child from your fearing it. But I had to get real honest with myself if I wanted to change beliefs and habits. We had all the standard appointments, follow ups and specialists to run through. On one such appointment with one such specialist, we asked the question~ "What about nutrition?" I mean, they had told us he needed a chemo called interferon and the next year would be utter hell. (Doctor's words) What about nutrition? Surely this thing isn't bigger than the natural medicines God created and most assuredly it isn't bigger than the God who gave us medicines millenia ago. Nutrition... "fruits and veggies can't hurt!" Was his 12+ years worth of college wisdom he threw at us. It was at that moment I knew much of what these doctors said to us from then on was absolute bullshit. Within a 48 hour period I had googled my heart out finding articles like "curing off melanoma with food", and "this essential oil has been shown to shrink tumors." Could this be true? I mean, I don't have the alphabet after my name and the doctor did look at me in a "ahh, sweet thing" sort of way. Was I naive to think that I could heal my son with plants? Yes I would be completely naive if I hadn't just prayer a desperation prayer of "God show me what to do to heal my son." Maybe you don't believe in God the way I do. Perhaps speaking to Him in a demanding way, an expecting way seems rude. And yet, this is the cry of a mother's heart, God heal my son! Scripture says we can go before the throne of grace with confidence, so why wouldn't I? Why would I trust in a doctor who put zero confidence in the plants our God gave us in the first place. Oh but fear... Fear is such a liar, my friend. I was afraid to speak up on what in my heart, deep down in there, I so believed. Even now as I type this out, I wonder how many will read this and think "oh here she goes again, saying that plants heal and cure cancer." So it is with confidence, 9 years later of a child being cancer free that I boldly make that statement. Because it is the God's honest truth. This will no doubt be a series I share, so for now, allow me to bullet for you the process. 1. We radically altered his diet. No sugar, no processed anything. We started juicing as much as we could, as much as he would drink. We bought Essentia water and had him drink it daily. We tried to create an alkaline environment for his body, verses an acidic environment. 2. We removed toxins from our home. This was actually 2 years after he was diagnosed. I wish I could say it was sooner, but I didn't know what I didn't know. I grew up hearing "everything causes cancer'. So if everything caused cancer, what's the use in even trying. I still didn't think my Tide or Downey had any more or less adverse affects on his body. Wasn't just breathing the air just as bad? I told you I was ignorant. 3. We started utilizing essential oils regularly. At first I had no idea what or why I ought to use these. Or how for that matter. I was given a book akin to a medical textbook and started reading. I would use a few here and there, but still was totally ignorant on how to use these tools. I read my book over and over and the nagging thought, 'could this even be true?" Because after all, if it weren't true why weren't the 'professionals' telling us to use these? Why wasn't this common knowledge. Oh and then you have the haters of all things natural. It's snake oils. It's crap. It doesn't work. So then why try right? After all, this was my son's life we were talking about. But you know what the kicker for me was, God made it all, and I believe He means for us to have an abundant life, a life full of wealth of all kinds, including a healthy thriving child. I read it in the bible actually, I didn't just make it up. Not to mention, the doctors had given us a diagnosis for our other then, 3 children. They were now 50% more likely to have a disease like this than his father or I were. So we are now not only trying to heal Zion, we were also looking to create an environment that my other children would thrive in and not have to deal with this disease, or any other. 4. We released trauma and trapped emotions. This came about 5 years after the diagnosis and quite by accident. I was dealing with some trauma in my own life and realized I should probably help my children, particularly the one who had the cancer release any negative emotions. That in itself wasn't a huge epiphany, because of course everyone who has gone through what we all had has some trauma. The epiphany was that negative emotions can make us sick. Negative emotions can cause cancer. I was a horrible mom in the early years. I yelled... a lot. I freaked out... a lot. My son took the brunt of my own emotional frustrations and it manifested in ta dah! cancer. The beautiful this is when I helped him heal emotional, we saw a pretty eye opening thing happen in his body. You see, I was a hairdresser for 100 years, and I know hair. I have seen people go prematurely grey from trauma. It's a real thing. I saw my own son have a big grey strip in his hair after the cancer and one of his eyebrows was partially grey. After we released the trauma, it reverted back. There are about 5 grey hairs where there were countless before. My tendency when something like that happens is to call every person on the phone and be like, "bitch you see this?? Now what do you think of my voodoo holistic healing??" But I did not. Because that's rude and so not classy. Emotional healing was the last piece to our healing puzzle. It was a big piece. I was healed physically after emotional healing. My husband was healed physically and mentally. My son was healed in all ways. The doctors say this type of cancer would be back, 12 months-18 months tops. They said he would be back often for biopsies and by the time he was 18 he would look like swiss cheese. Well doctors, with all due respect, none of that happened. He is now 18 and he has had 1 biopsy, which I might add was a stupid choice on the part of the doctor. Zion does not look like swiss cheese, far from it. He is grown man, health, vibrant and completely healed. Join me for the next few posts in the retelling of this story for our family. The story where our increase in health started. It began as a fight for our son's life, it continued to touch each member of the family and radically alter each one of our lives for the extreme better. This star was created at Give Kids the World. We wrote his name down and placed it in a room with other kids' names. Presumably so that is anything happened to him, his name would be remembered. It's a morbid idea when you think about. It's putting it out there that we aren't sure if our son would live or not. I was sure he would, At first glance I think about going back and tearing this star out of it's place. But I am grateful I can't do that. It will serve as an eternal reminder to me that even when people doubted, we persevered and trusted the God who created all of it, Who created our son and wants only good for him, and us.

The Stories We Tell

The Stories We Tell

Fairytales are timeless. As a little girl, I loved listening to the Cinderella movie record, (yes, the record), twirling and dancing throughout the house wishing my fairy godmother would whisk me away from the abuse and hardship I lived in. To this day if I hear “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo” I am transported back to that apartment in Germany, dancing around and around. As I grew up, I still loved fairytales, yet I resolutely decided those were not for someone like me. Fairytale stories and movies are, well, fairytales. Fictional. Silly illusions and pipe dreams, created to draw little ones into a false sense of reality. Who knew, telling myself a story of “that can’t happen to me” would seal the deal on never achieving what it was my heart truly desired? Never would I have imagined that because of the story I kept telling myself, finance and business goals would become difficult to realize. As an adult in a career I was quite successful. On the outside, success looked like it was mine. But when self reflection was in play, there was a sense of “not quite”. It wasn’t a manner of discontent, it was more of, I had set a goal and yet fell just short each time. In one place of work I was successful, but not at the top of my field. In another, I was a sought after educator, but not the best of the best. “No one can be the best in their field, can they?” I reasoned. After all, biblically speaking, aren’t we to be content in all things, satisfied with less in life? I mean, really, who did I think I was anyway, wanting to achieve outstanding success. Mediocrity started to find it’s roots in my soul. That is, until I set foot on my most recent path. The business I found myself in, quite literally stumbling into it, there was no ceiling. There was room for anyone who wanted that kind of success. It was completely and totally up to me, my efforts and my choice. Period. No one else called the shots. I set my sights on the top! I went after it, hard, only to met with mediocre results. Once again I found middle of the road success. “Most people in this company would give anything to be where you are,” said a well meaning friend. But, I’m not most people… Why couldn’t I grab hold of this elusive dream? The story I had told myself all my life… greatness and success don’t happen to people like me. Desperately asking my mind the question, why am I falling short month after month, the answer came. You see, when you ask yourself a question, your mind searches for the answer. My mind spoke back to me saying “sweet girl, this is the story we have told since we were that little girl”. Growing up in abuse, poverty and separation from parents created a story of unworthiness. It’s not a good story, but it is a powerful one. Also, its one that is simply not true. It is built on lies and false perspectives. It’s one thing to recognize the false story; it’s another to be able to break free from it. In order to grab what is rightfully yours, you must tell a different story and in order to do that, you must heal from emotional wounds that are creating the lie. If you realize your life is not what you would have ordered, may I gently suggest, you deserve better? You deserve the life you have always dreamed of, that one from when you were twirling as a young child. Ask yourself some questions; 1. How do you talk to yourself each day? Meaning, that mind chatter, what is it like? What does it say, and what feeling does it create within you? When you self talk, do you feel uplifted? 2. Why are you talking that way to yourself? 3. If a miracle occurred tomorrow, that would start a path for you toward the life you desire, what would it be? Once you write these out, sit with the third answer. Look at it, why is this the miracle? Write out an affirmation statement of actually having this thing, such as “I am ______, or I have ______, or I create____.” You see, affirmations are a form of strengthening the brain. Affirmations come from the Latin root word ‘affirmare,’ meaning to make steady or strengthen. When we speak out affirming words to ourselves or others, we are creating a steadiness in others and strengthening our minds in order to believe and accomplish that which we are seeking. As you speak out affirmations, use your mind to imagine, what it would look like in your life, if what you're creating those desires. Imagine the feeling that comes with it. Perhaps even the sound. If your accomplishment ends in fanfare like walking across a stage, perhaps you can pair your dream with a walk up song. Rewriting your story takes some careful thought and time to put it into practice. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes a memory will come up that you connect that is the reason you have this belief. That’s the sweet spot my friend. That’s the point you must push past and break through to the other side. *** if you just started signing The Doors tune, you are my people*** It’s true though, breaking through that barrier that has held you back all these years takes a bit of pushing and effort on your part. But I can assure you, when you do, oh that victory is so sweet. For those who just read this and thought, yea, lovely, but you have no idea my life. There’s no way I could possibly do … Can I tell you, I hear you, and not only do I hear, I see you my friend. After investing three years into the study of why dreams aren’t achieved and what is holding people back from breaking free from the past, I wrote a course in order to help those folks do just that. It would be an honor and a joy to walk with you in that journey back to your fairytale life. Some stories take a little more than simply running through a few journal prompts. Some require digging, uprooting and replanting. If that is you, I'd love to coach you through the process. Reach out here. Freedom, fairytales and dreams are yours, my friend, you just need to ask for it.

Isn't She Lovely

Isn't She Lovely

When I held my baby girls, never did I once think or utter the thoughts- "gee, I hope they have big boobs" or "I hope their eyelashes are extra long or "I sure hope they don't look stupid in front of an audience," or "I hope they're crazy successful in their work," or "I hope they are always dressed perfectly" or "I hope they are the perfect weight".... I would be a complete monster of a mom if I ever thought those things about my girls right? So why would I think those things about myself and more? Why do you? What's this arbitrary standard we are all trying so hard to live up to and for the love, who set that standard? Memes and quotes abound on social media about just being yourself and not worrying about what other people think. I join right along with those people, saying "yes! Screw the mass culture mindset! I'm going to just be me!" Until ... I have to do a video... get up on stage... or promote my book... Then, every single flaw suddenly leaps to mind and frozen in terror, I run to the bathroom to add more lipstick. (Apparently according to every fashion guru, lipstick is the duct tape of beauty) Whatever about my own issues, I am 46 years old and have my own mind junk to work through, of which I am doing just that. However, there's the matter of my girls... We leave an inheritance for our children, did you know that? We pass down to them everything we have, good or bad. They get our DNA when they are created and in addition, they get our insecurities and strengths as well. Things such as alcoholism is inherited, right? It's a struggle that is passed down. We must break the cycle of any unsavory mindset or behavior in order to not pass it down to our children. In my case, the cycle of insecurity must be done away with, otherwise my children, particularly my girls, will be paralyzed with the same terror I have been plagued with my whole adult life. Working in the beauty industry did nothing to help me have a healthy view of beauty either. Being at a salon where they scrutinized your outfits, makeup and hair can leave a mark on you to be sure. My favorite was showing up to work, have the snooty men look me over and point to the clothing store across the street as if to say, "you might consider something better from over there..." Come to think of it, I should probably do some trauma releasing over that situation. This mindset has spilled over into what I tell my girls are important. I mean, when you think of it, most people look at the outward appearance first to judge whether or not someone is worthy of listening to, right? If you just scoffed at what I said, you are totally lying. I studied human behavior for 25 years as a hairdresser and I watched this happen with my own eyes. People will listen to people who they think look pretty, have it all together, or sound intelligent. Which is totally messed up, but accurate. I want so much for my girls to be valued, that I forget, they already are. By me. By their Jesus. The only people that should matter, ever. So here I am, with a sixteen year old and a seven year old, and I watch them try to be "pretty". Applying their Savvy makeup, wearing the bracelets and cute shoes. For who? For what? I love the idea of dressing up and looking gorgeous, feeling beautiful and glamorous, but when it's done with a mindset behind it of doing for those you might see, or who might see you, then it becomes an insidious motive. Dressing up for themselves, because they already like what they and want to accessorize is one thing. Covering up flaws in hopes the masses will accept them is a whole other ball game. One I frankly would love my children to avoid like the plague. As I strive to prepare my children for the world that awaits them, yes we continue to teach a non toxic lifestyle, essential oil usage, clean eating and emotional health. But I am shifting gears a bit. I long to have my babies feeling extremely confident and beautiful, strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. To look in the mirror each day, and like King David, say with great gusto-
“I AM fearfully and wonderfully made, how WONDERFUL are Your works, oh God!” In 2020 speak, they will look at themselves and say, “oh sweet Lord, look at this fine piece of work you created. Well done, Lord. Well done.” For those of you with daughters, I pray you join me in creating a movement of girls who love who God made them to be- to walk in their gifts and purposes. To decorate their already gorgeous selves in a manner they feel good about. Girls who grow to be women that no longer pay attention to the standard, but create their own standard of beauty.

Three Steps to Turning Heartache into Hope

Three Steps to Turning Heartache into Hope

Currently many children across this nation are grieving. And many adults have no clue, and much less do not care. In fact, many of those same adults are in deep grief and are not willing to let themselves grieve during this time much less someone else in their sphere. It’s not because adults are cold and unfeeling. It’s simply they do not understand how to process feelings and emotions. Not to mention the fact that most folks categorize different types of trauma and grief, deeming one thing to be true trauma and another to be just a little hard, sad or perhaps, not even at all worthy of feeling bad over. The truth is, no one has the privilege to qualify trauma or grief. No one has the right to say whether or not something is difficult for you or not. Your body and mind decide this, not you. What you choose to do with the feelings/emotions/grief is entirely up to you. But first, you must have an awareness in order to come out on the other side mentally and physically intact. I know from where I speak. You see, I was that person who judged (wrongly) someone else’s feelings, whether or not they were “allowed” to feel the way they did. I was a complete ass, if I’m honest. During the time my son had cancer and when I was traipsing down to the NICU to feed and hold my daughter for 30 days, people and their petty nonsense enraged me. I would cut someone’s hair after having spent the morning at Children’s hospital, listening to this woman bemoan the fact that she simply couldn’t find proper drapes. Or another who was so stressed out because she had to pay $2,000 per son in order for them to play football. At the time I was on full Judge Judy mode, criticizing the fact that drapes were so insignificant on the grand scheme of life and football? Lord have mercy! No one is putting a gun to your head and “making” you pay anything. But… their feelings… were real. The pain and anguish they experienced, also real. As real as my heart hurt leaving my baby girl each day, these people felt some sort of hurt and distress. They didn’t need someone to give some mindset platitude and tell them to not sweat the small stuff. They needed someone to simply listen, and thank God with them that their challenges will work themselves through. They needed someone to give them tools on how to release the stress and feel at peace and calm IN their present circumstance they find themselves in. Unfortunately I was not that person at that time. However, I am now. My hope is to give you some guidance on how to move through any time of grief, for you and a child you might have the privilege of sharing space with. First of all, you must acknowledge that the situation you find yourself in is hard, or for the person you are dealing with, their situation they find themselves in. Understand the mind and body feel the feelings, whether you stuff them or dismiss them. Take for example scary news. In an instant, your physical body will create a physical response to what you just heard. It has to this is how it was designed. The flight or fight response right? Releasing adrenaline and cortisol whether you are in actual danger or not. If the mind perceives danger or stress or fear, it will respond the way it was designed. In that moment, you can choose to consciously acknowledge it, and respond in a way that will A., make you feel physically safe, and B., mentally safe. If that is the case, anyway. Take our currently state of the union. Millions of adults now being forced to home school their children- the horror right? Old Jen would have criticized parents for feeling angry and fearful about the notion of teaching these children. But this Jen, understands every bit of that fear, every bit of the anger. It would be like the state telling me I had no choice but to send my child to school. There is fear there, and yet, the fears are not legitimate once we educate ourselves. Knowledge truly is power. Millions of those children are now grieving the loss of friend time, favorite teacher interaction, or worse, a solid way to get a meal… These too are legitimate causes for distress, if the child is not assured everything is different, yes, but we can make it even better than before. Second, once you all have seen the grief for what it is, now is the time to decide what to do with it. Here’s a hint~ don’t say “it’s no big deal”. That is stuffing it. You know, my grandma use to say, “feel the way you feel. Get down in the feelings, give it a good wallow! But then pick yourself up by your boot straps and dust yourself off and get back after it!” Grandma was pretty smart. She was in the top of her field as a clinical psychologist, so I’d say she had an idea or two about the human mind. Get down in it, wallow around in it. Translation, let yourself feel every bit of feels you need to. But not for too long, don’t wallow like a pig in the mud, don’t dwell on it too long, other wise you’ll get stuck there. Get up. Dust yourself off. For those of us who know that essential oils are truly the ay to “dust” of the mental distress, dust yourself off by applying your Valor and then layer with Joy. Valor essential oil is an oil that brings courage. Courage to face a new day, a day full of uncertainty, with confidence and strength. Apply 6 drops Valor on each shoulder and just sit. Let the Valor sink in. Valor will bring your mind, body and soul into balance, giving you or your child the ability to move through this time in a much healthier manner. Joy essential oils is a powerful blend that when inhaled, it brings back memories of being loved, being held, sharing loving times, feeling and opening those blocks in our lives where perhaps we have shut down to love or receiving love or love of self. When stress and trauma are present, using the aroma of Joy can lift your spirits allowing you to think of love, and when we are in a loving frame of mind, we can create loving things to do. In addition, when there is grief, the adenoids and the adrenal glands shut down; Joy may help to open these glands. One of the biggest challenges physically with not acknowledging emotions is the breakdown of the body. Your body will tell you when it has had enough of your stuffing nonsense. Third, visualize a future filled with joy and hope and happiness. I’m serious, visualize the way you want to see your next 3-6 months. Help your child use their imagination. For younger ones, this won’t be any sort of challenge at all. In dealing with our current situation, talk with one another about plans you are creating for 3 months from now. Come up with creative ideas to have a prom or graduation if those things are being missed out on. Once you have removed the grief, thinking in a positive light will be much simpler. If you or a child is dealing with grief of any other kind, not related to quarantines and outbreaks, visualize a future too. One that looks like you want to see it. If there is loss of a loved one, visualize yourself thriving in your space, making a new life for yourself. When you have a mental setback, acknowledge, breathe, use your oils, and then, get up. Face another day. The oils will help you do just that, I promise. No matter the grief you find yourself in, do not qualify it. It’s what you feel. Feelings neither right or wrong, they simply are. Acknowledge them, allow them to surface, “dust” yourself off, and get back up.

Somebody’s Gotta Go First

Somebody’s Gotta Go First

It was called “Beats and Brunch”, a grassroots idea that sprang from another grassroots idea. What would happen was, after each open mic night we’d host the artists who performed the next day for Brunch as a thank you. Maybe we’d share music ideas, maybe encourage new artists in their craft, but hopefully- breakdown walls.
Food has a way of doing that for people.

The food was provided by yours truly and prepped by the boys. Nothing like a Hector special with a side of Vic’s eggs on a Sunday morning. The vibe and mood was perfect, timid artists came back with a confidence knowing they were very much welcomed back- anytime. Especially to eat and talk. The mood shifted when a woman joined us, one who hadn’t been over the night before but one that was welcome simply because our intention was to Love. Love without pretenses. Love without conditions.
Love without AGENDA. Looking back it’s real to notice the women didn’t want Love, they wanted to make a statement. No one seemed to notice the differences between us all, expect these ladies. In reality, we weren’t that different.
Age wise, yea, I was a decade or two past them.
Talent, ok sure, what I lacked in vocal talent (which was everything) I made up for in hosting? I suppose some call it a talent?

The mood changed as race was brought to the table. The women who joined us chose to touch heavily upon this topic, in the height of BLM, they wanted to talk about the differences between my skin tone and theirs, and the issues that arise as a result.

I found their courage to bring up such a heated topic quite interesting, considering they began to insult their host and her apparent race.
I say apparent because what they didn’t know was my grandmother is full blooded Native American, raised on a reservation because, you know, they white men of Oklahoma moved them there. I shared with these women the only thing I knew, what I had learned from my grandmother- what she had learned from her Savior- Someone has got to be the first to forgive. My gramma would admonish me to Love everyone with Agape Love. I always thought it was one of her weird Native American expressions. She had a lot of them. She would say “Jenny, my God loves with Agape Love, no strings attached. We must love like that too.” At the time I didn’t know her God but I knew how she Loved. I never heard her speak unkind words. I heard of her picking up strangers off the side of the road and caring for them. I heard the story of her saving a man’s life on the freeway.
Because of this Agape Love. That was the Love I opened my home up with, to these artists, to the community surrounding us. Some received it. In the case of this woman, some did not. Someone‘s got to be the first to forgive. Yet when someone meets you as far as they know how to go- it’s now up to you to step in, and allow forgiveness to rise up. What I saw in this woman on that day was she had never experienced unconditional all Agape Love. Her idea of me, as many others, was I was white and likely I just wanted something from her. Weirdly, no. Just wanted to say thank you for using my home to share your music. I just wanted to share with all of them, there are people who Love like this, because they’ve been loved like that by a Savior who’s seen and known all they’ve done- yet STILL Loves them anyway. Those of us who know this Love are compelled to share it, in whatever awkward way we know how. For many of the kids we knew skin tone seemed to be of little issue once I said “hey! Thanks for coming to my home, I’m so glad you’re here!!”
For a few thus was a glaring challenge, one that no matter how I Loved, they simply couldn’t receive. Sapphire, you have a voice like an angel, melodic and and stunning. Your passion for her culture shamed my lack of care for my own people. Our life experiences however, so similar in nature yet skin tone separated any hope of coming to a genuine understanding. My prayer for you, for all hurt as you seem to be, is that somehow, someway, you’d experience the Agape Love of my Savior. With a plea of “someone has to be the first to forgive”, the mood changed.

Not a Warrior, Yet

Not a Warrior, Yet

I'm going through old CaringBridge entries, not because I'm some kind of masochist, but because I'm creating something super cool. I came across this post and in stopped me in my tracks. I was stunned, in awe really, of how different my son is. Of course, 9 years adds maturity and growth. But this guy is different that I thought he would ever be. Nice mom, huh? You remember my video about not parenting the weird out of my kid? Zion had always been different, and frankly, getting cancer only exacerbate that situation. Folks would call my son a warrior, a brave little guy. Each time I cringed, thinking, oh geez, if you only knew how horrific the scans went, the screaming he did when they stuck him with needle after needle, the fighting we went through to get him on the table. It was a beast of a time. I had a different perspective~ From October 2012- I wouldn't call Zion a warrior. Yes, I know that's the hip way to refer to the cancer victim in your family, but the title doesn't seem to fit for my little guy. I'm not disparaging his character, just noting that the opportunity for heroics don't seem to be there for him. No, he's not a fighter (other than sibling bare knuckle brawls); he's a little boy who has had the grievous misfortune of a melanoma diagnosis, followed by a shit-storm of doctors appointments and medical procedures. Where's the fight when he has to just lay there and take it? Where's the nobility in the suffering in all of that? I think sometimes we honor cancer too much by painting it's wounded in such splendid colors. A worthy fight requires two worthy combatants, and cancer is not worthy. Cancer is nasty little street punk with a rusty dagger. At the time I saw Zion as a little guy, so fearful of literally everything, super weird in his quirkiness and praying that for the love, could he just have a normal conversation with the doctors about toys, rather than science. (For real, I was such an idiot) Guys, as I read that entry, I thought, oh my soul, I had such small faith. At the time he was the antithesis of a warrior. But God. Now, my son is a force to be reckoned with. He is fiercely defensive of his principles. He does not care what you or anyone else thinks of his views. (I love that) He is unmovable. He is no longer slave to fear, and he is stronger than I ever imagined. Parents, are you wrestling with a child who isn't a delight? One who maybe doesn't fit your mold? Good. Because they weren't given to us to fit our molds, our ideas of what they should become. They were given to us as gifts, as reminders to get on our knees and cry out to the one who created them for guidance and wisdom. God means to grow them in the way He created them, in the way they are bent. I'm so grateful that I stopped parenting the weird out of my son. I'm grateful I saw him for who he was then, not a warrior, just a little boy with a suck diagnosis. I'm grateful that once I got out of the way, God did the things and made him into a better man than I could ever have imagined. Get out of the way parents and just keep praying.

Cedarwood~The Untold Use

Cedarwood~The Untold Use

Did you know that when you swim in chlorinated pools, or shower with water that has chlorine in it, your thyroid takes a huge hit? Swimming, while a great form of cardio exercise and a great choice for individuals with injuries, can further impair your thyroid function. This isn’t a side effect of the activity itself, but rather a consequence of swimming in a chlorinated pool. Chlorine, like fluorine and bromine, is related to iodine, which causes it to compete with iodine and subsequently block iodine uptake in the thyroid gland. Iodine is a vital mineral when it comes to proper thyroid function so low levels can result in hypothyroidism (a low-functioning thyroid). Thankfully there are a few things you can do to lessen the side effects of chlorine. Namely, use your Cedarwood essential oil! Applying Cedarwood essential oil over your thyroid after showering and when you get out of the pool. This will prevent the chlorine from attaching itself to the thyroid gland. Be sure to rinse off after swimming before applying your Cedarwood. How do you know if your thyroid is having struggles?
How are those heels? Let's look at 8 conditions that might be a sign your thyroid is in need~ 1. Dry, flakey feet In 2012, a study was designed to identify the skin manifestations of hypothyroidism, an under-active thyroid. Of the four hundred and sixty diagnosed cases of hypothyroidism, presented with dry, coarse skin. Hyperthyroidism, over-active thyroid, due to the autoimmune condition Graves’ disease may also present with thickened skin. While it may seem contradictory, it is often the case that some symptoms of hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism present the same. 2. Itchy feet Pruritus is the medical term for itchy skin. Chronic pruritus, or itchy feet, can present in both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism. In the case of hypothyroidism, it may be that the very dry skin is the cause of the itchiness. Researchers suggest that pruritus and even chronic urticaria (chronic hives) may be associated with thyroid autoimmunity, including Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and Graves’ disease. When you develop one autoimmune condition you are more vulnerable to develop multiple autoimmune conditions. 3. Cold feet Thyroid pioneer Dr. Broda Barnes wrote, “When thyroid function is low, circulation is reduced." Dr. Barnes analyzed the body’s basal body temperature. Before rising in the morning, the patient’s axillary temperature was taken. Normal underarm temperature is between 97.8°F and 98.2°F. Consistent below-normal temperatures indicate hypothyroidism and consistent above-normal temperatures indicate hyperthyroidism. 4. Swollen feet Heart disease, kidney dysfunction, diabetes, and skin infections are common culprits considered when a patient presents with swelling of legs and feet, but the possibility of hypothyroidism should always be considered. Swelling is a classic symptom of hypothyroidism and this includes swelling all over the body. 5. Foot pain and cramping Muscle, joint and nerve pains are not usually stressed as primary symptoms of hypothyroidism, however, in the case of Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and Graves’ disease, the immune system can also attack the joints and muscles frequently in the feet and ankles. 6. Foot Infections Susceptibility to infections of the feet, hands, fingernails, and toenails occurs in both hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism. 7. Excess Sweating One of the classic symptoms of hyperthyroidism is excessive sweating, and that includes the feet. Sweat on your skin is a breeding ground for bacteria, and that can make things smelly. 8. Yellow soles of feet Thyroid hormone is required for the conversion of beta-carotene to vitamin A. Buildup of beta-carotene in the case of hypothyroidism will be stored in the outer layer of the skin including the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet. As the eyes are the window to the sole, so the feet are a peek into the health of your thyroid. Don't let it go unchecked. Utilize your Cedarwood, and find a great amount of untold support.

Raising Children in 2019

Raising Children in 2019

There is a meme floating around that reads~ How to Be a Parent IN 2019 VS 1982 Allow me to share; In 2019 Make sure your children’s academic, emotional, and psychological, mental, spiritual, physical nutritional, and social needs are met while being careful not to over stimulate, under stimulate, improperly medicine, helicopter, or neglect them in a screen free, processed foods free, GMO free, negative energy free, plastic free, body positive, socially conscious, egalitarian but also authoritative, nurturing, but fostering of independence, gentle but not overly permissive, pesticide free, two-story, multilingual home preferable in a cul de sac with a backyard, and 1.5 siblings spaced at least 2 years apart for proper development also don’t forget the coconut oil. in 1982- Feed them sometimes At first blush I thought it to be mildly humorous, I may have even had a little ‘isn’t that the truth’ moment. Scrolling down a bit I stopped. It hit me. Then I was livid. I earn an insane amount of money because in 1982 people were so self absorbed, so focused on become the next millionaire and having status that the neglect on children was astonishing. Consequently, adults of that generation are severely hurting and are not living, but rather, surviving. There are more latchkey kids in the 80’ and then 90’ than any other time. Which produced a generation of Lord of the Flies so to speak because quite frankly, children were left to their own devices, raising themselves. In 2019, we who are in our 40’s are products of that generation and gross neglect. We wonder why children are coming into schools shooting each other. Never having been taught to deal with their own demons, it’s no wonder they have emotional fits of rage that causes them to shoot up the very environment they had trauma in the first place. We wonder why racial tension is at an all time high. Making a mockery of homes now wanting to raise children to be bilingual accentuates the point of the complete disregard for anyone other than themselves. Who wouldn’t want to have a home that seeks to understand another race and culture? My God, how else are we suppose to end racial violence and tension? We wonder why there is a generation of adults who are struggling emotionally just to make it through the day, who never knew or understood how to deal with hurts and pains and losses. We wonder why childhood cancer rates are off the charts. The generation that raised the children of feed them sometimes, never taught them how to eat properly. How to choose life giving foods that are not ladened with pesticides that kill them slowly, or full of sugar, salt and fats that while, tasty, are also creating a slow demise. Or even how to clean with natural products that were created in the earth, not made in a lab. It was instant, microwaved nasty crap. And now we rail on a generation who wants everything right now, without waiting. There is now a generation of parents so desperate to grow their children up in an emotionally healthy, safe, strong and beautiful environment and all people before this generation can say, the ones who raised them, all they can do is make critical memes and shake their heads in disgust. On behalf of all my over caring, helicopter, socially and environmentally conscious peers, you’re welcome for not raising a generation of emotionally torn up humans.

Scents in the Workplace

Scents in the Workplace

Aromatherapy probably isn't the first tool you think of to help boost productivity in business but it should be. Smell is everything, the power of scent can trigger positive memories and inspire even the most weary person to become a motivated powerhouse. Smell is the strongest of the senses and is best able to influence brain activity. Olfactory bulbs are part of the limbic system and directly connect to the areas of the brain that process emotion and learning. This is one of the reasons why so often something that we smell will trigger a memory or remind us of something or someone, like baking bread, fresh cinnamon rolls or the ocean breeze. It reminds of that special place or someone, past or even present. Essential oils not only help improve job performance but also our health. When essential oils are diffused in the workplace, employees are less likely to take sick time. Essential oils have anti-viral, anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties and using them in an environment where there are a lot of people can help to keep germs at bay. Inhaling essential oils activates the hypothalamus – the area of the brain which sends messages to other parts of the body. Inhaling the aroma of essential oils can cause many physiological changes in the body, including activating the immune system, affecting blood pressure and stimulating digestion. All from simply inhaling! Essential oils aren't overpowering either, as long as you select scents that create a beautiful serene environment. Scents like, lemon paired with a drop of peppermint can sharpen focus and keep team members alert. A light spicy aroma such as cinnamon and orange can bring a cozy atmosphere to the space and make clients feel at ease and at home while in your office. The aroma that wafts through the lobby, offices and employee cubicles like a double shot of joy will allow a perfect environment for creativity and focus. In a time when proper lighting, comfortable chairs and healthy choices in the lunch room are mandatory knowing these have a huge influence on productivity, wouldn't it make sense to now have environmental fragrancing? It's a logical extension.